Pickings are slim at church. He's so used to me saying that I sometimes wonder why he even has to ask. She might want to follow the 'virgin until marriage' part, or she may personally decide to forego following that in secret. The Holy Ghost will testify that it is true. If she is open to questioning her faith, perhaps she can chase you down. I feel I am not appreciated and valued as a wife. I told him that this wasn't working for me. Wow, so nice to know others feel just like me. I really loved this woman and not sure what to do. Thank you for pointing this out.
I've been thinking more about your situation and another thing came to mind. Anyway, I'm sad and disappointed and I know that it will be my job to keep the marriage together. My experience with non members has been so much more meaningful and caring. We need to come to a decision pretty soon and I really need some insight. IMO he should've been up-front about that before beginning to date you, but, sounds like you're okay with it now that everything's clear. If you try to deconvert her I suggest indirectly at first. If you do believe it fully, are you not really going to want him to make the conversion ultimately. If you are very much willing to accept and understand all of these, whether you are a Mormon or not, you can expect that it is fun to date a Mormon girl. You'll know pretty quick where she stands.
How church discipline works. Nothing less will do. As the patriarchal leader, it will be up to you to figure it out and to dispel her unrealistic fantasies.
For me and the woman I'm in love with, we CAN discuss it without breaking down into spittle and hate. When my husband and I were sealed, I finally understood why my Dad had been stressing this to me my entire life. My parents met when my mom was in 8th grade and married when she was I think my sister married fastest and knew her husband at least 18 months, dating for at least half that. This is something I see on an everyday basis. You would be able to force her to confront the facts without feeling threatened. So how do we approach saving a relationship with someone who has unrealistic expectations of what a long-term relationship looks like. I grew up in a very strict Mormon home and dated only Mormon men until I met my now husband.