As for deciding to marry someone who is not mormon, here is how I made the decision. Before I met my husband I had dated quite a few members and some relationships were quite serious but I never felt right about it. Religious differences, however are real.
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You are a good person. I think your response is Bang on. But it is important to be ruthlessly honest with yourself about how you feel about it. What am I getting myself into.
I would probably suggest that you cut your losses now. We have 2 beautiful children and he has a daughter from his previous mariage he rarely sees. You all are strong for staying but I just don't see how it is possible long term to live like this. The ones who already had concerns start questioning.
To me, the core question is, is this person inclined toward self transcendence are the inclined, desirous, self aware enough to be selfless. Good thing is you can have multiple wives in heaven if you become exalted. Be gentle with them and yourself. We are at odds about this constantly. Discover the joys of a non-sexual relationship and find sincere ways to show affection without sex. Your relationship with your family will be healed, and so will you. I think you should start by having some very honest conversations. Try a variety of dates.